Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Your Blog is a waste of internet

Stop wasting your time and find something you are good at instead

Feel free to convince me otherwise......

219 comments:

  1. Then why do you have a blog? Idiot!

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  2. I enjoy writing and blogging about my life. This helps me relieve myself of stress and otherwise. Now, why would you create a blog to tell others theirs suck? (I'm serious. I would like to read you response.) :)

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  3. Gotta say that while I would like to be annoyed by you, I find this concept funny as hell, start to finish. Keep up the amusing work.

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  4. Yes, I'm coming back for one more comment. Anyone who is visiting this blog and hasn't checked out the audio clip on his profile page is really missing out. That's it, I'm a follower.

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  5. Yeh I noticed that too. Pretty funny stuff..

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  6. Dear Sir/Madam,
    Firstly, I would like to congratulate you on the fact that you found by blog, with what seems to be minimal/low air resistance; despite your huge loving head. Secondly, your FACE is a waste of internet.

    So there.

    Air Kisses!!

    ;) Miffie

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  7. You suggested that I write about climbing Mount Everest as that is a challenge and Hot yoga isn't. Guess what, you haven't tried it so you can shut your mouth until you do. And, to have a whole blog about what you consider to be sucky blogs shows the sad state of your life.

    You want to be convinced? Get a life and you won't need to be convinced by others.

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  8. First of all, yes it is pointless, but I enjoy writing it doesn't bother me that most of my readers are obliged to as friends.

    Secondly, why on earth would I send you an invite to my other blog? No one, and I mean no one, reads that blog. I was made private after a severe lack of postig and I plan on keeping it that way.

    Xoxo.. Toongen..

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  9. Hello Detective,
    Since you went out of your way to leave a comment on my blog Reasons to Forget, I decided to return the lovely favor. Your blog is absolutely charming, I love it! Oh, and your insight to my poetry was eye opening; so, please feel free to drop in from time to time to spread more negativity [all comments are welcome].

    Cordially yours,
    J.N
    http://reasons2forget.blogspot.com

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  11. BCD, I am so relieved that you didn't find my blog to be full of crap. And that audio link is absolutely hilarious. All the best in your future endeavors. (Or endeavor, as I think this may take up the vast majority of your time...the internet is a big place.)

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  12. Well, I never claimed to be a stunning writer, much less an awesome and interesting blogger. Also, my apologies for the blouse giving you a headache but my income is limited so little gets spent on new wardrobe items. Perhaps you'd like to contribute to the cause and I can get a new top to model and have a new photo to insert in my profile? That would be oh, so nice.
    What I'd really like to know though is who died and delegated you to be the judge of all blogs great and/or crappy anyway? If you don't like or understand another's blog, no need to be obnoxious and insulting to that person. Just click out of it, pretty much the same way you clicked into it.

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  13. He'd say, "Thanks for painting with me."

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  14. Amazed you found my blog to comment on it and flattered tht you found it worthwhile enough to read, and even more amazed that it moved you so profoundly that you felt compelled to leave such an insightful and thought provoking comment. It seems you completely understood the post-ironic tone in which I expounded and decided to leave a rejoiner in the same vein.

    Congratulations on finding such a self effacing mission for your life.

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  15. Boy, you have been busy today Detective...

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  16. Thanks for visiting my blog.. I made a tag for you, come grab it and feel free to use it as your calling card.. I get your blog.. Take some of the edge off, not everybody else gets it.. Wow.. dejavue.. I feel as tho I've written this before.. Because I have! A rewrite then..
    Deleting comments??? You go around blowing up on other people's blogs and then you delete comments???? No guts no glory Detective Crap!

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  17. Why on earth would I delete my own excellent advice? I can categorically state that absolutely nothing has been deleted by me.

    Only the blog owner or comment leaver would delete their response or reposte (most likely when clarity of mind occurs and they realise I was right)

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  18. You've been reviewed by THE ALL NUDE BLOGGER REVIEW! Consider yourself one of the chosen.

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  19. You didn't delete my comment? Well then, who did? :D Well, Detective, what are you waiting here for go find the imposter!!! :D

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  20. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  21. Oh, and I think it's rather amusing that you left hate mail, so to speak, and all these people came here to yell at you. Like you actually care.... :) Wow, I LOVE your blog Detective!

    I had a typo...

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  22. I love your blog! lol and I guess I'm a tree-hugger...I'm too loud to be a whisperer!

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  23. Dear Sir;

    I think you will find that you have managed to generate a surprising amount of traffic from the insult you posted on my blog (which you probably felt weird about since it is clear that my blog is awesome).

    Congratulations.

    You may find that the comments my readers leave on your blog are less than desirable. I am sorry. They are an uncontrollable, riotous group of people. I can't stop them. I am not God.

    Try to have a good day anyway.

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  24. With the amount of traffic you get here, couldn't you put a blog to better use?

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  25. I think I am honored that you not only found my blog among thousands but deemed it crap, as that is what I was going for! I must be doing a good job!

    The Hot Flash Queen

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  26. Hey Det. Crap, Allie's like our little sister here in the blogger world and if you go after her, we collectively go after you cuz that's how we fucking do, that's how we fucking roll.. Allie has more talent in her tiny little pinkie toe than you have in your tiny little pinkie penis, so fuck off Det. Crap, stick your head back up your ass and shuffle on.

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  27. I don't get it. Do you detect crap blogs? Or are you a crap detective? Judging by the comments you are leaving, I'm going for the latter.

    Also, it's probably a bad move to fuck Allie off as whilst she is a charmer, you are bound to encounter a Moriarty or two defending her honour. Who probably now want to skullfuck you. But as there is plenty of space in there where there should be a brain, maybe you won't notice.

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  28. You seem like the type who could really use a mandatory sex party invite. You're obviously a bitter spiteful virgin... so blowing your load at a mandatory sex party may also help get the stick out of your ass. Leave Allie alone. Loser.

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  29. I once promised Allie that if someone ever said something mean to her, I will go find them and twist their nipples. I would like to know where you are, sir, for I need to twist your nipples in order to fulfill my promise.

    I'm also supposed to say the fuck word a lot. So...fucking bitch tits, mother fucking, fuck hole, in your fucking fuck fuck fuck, and she said fuck the fuck in the fuckity fuck with a mother fuck in the penis wrinkle. Fucking shit fuck, fuckers in your fucking but fuck.

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  30. What I've always wanted to know is why are the fat child-girls fuckly flying in the Allegory of the League of Cambrai?

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  31. If you're interested in crap blogs, you should really check out this one: www.freescatblog.com

    It sure does have a lot of fucking crap on it. I mean crap fucking... I dunno what you call it.

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  32. The answer, my dear crap detective, is simple. The reason my picture only reveals part of my face is because I am so absolutely radiantly beautiful that seeing my face in its entirety would make your head explode a la Scanners.

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  33. How do you find time to comment on blogs with a dick in your mouth??

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  34. I am drunk and you are a douche bag.

    So there's that.

    Seriously though, if I was a mean person, I would probably call you a queef-faced man-child with stupid disease.

    I guess I just kind of did.

    And guess what?

    No, serioulsy... guess what?

    DOUCHE BAG!!!!!


    ahahhahaajjajajja

    I am so glad I am drunk and that we're friends. Kind of. You should really do something better with your life though. You aren't a good person.

    What if someone stopped blogging because of your insults? Would that be funny? Kind of, but it is also immoral you fucking douch-y ass-bandit.

    I bet you looked at my blog and you were all "I could never compete with that." Becasue you totally couldn't. I could out-blog you while drunk. Whatever that means. If you want to find out, you should probably challenge me to a blog-off now because I am drunk and I would totally own your ass.

    Can I be frank?

    You are a douche bad. I don't know if I told you that already, but I should have. Dude. YOu told me I was lame and even though I am, I am also not lame at all. I have a fucking trophy in my living room. For all of my accomlishments. It says "Allie: BEST FUCKING PERSON EVER!!!!!!!!!!" and it totally has all of those exclamation points too.

    Have you ever thought about life?

    Probably not because you are a douche bag.

    Later, tater.

    -Allie

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  35. I just got drawn in for a good 15 minutes clicking through to the crap blogs, and the most disturbing thing was crap blog avenger, Beth Niquette.

    She's everywhere you go, making nice. Wherever you leave hurt feelings, she is there to pick up the pieces. As long as she exists in the blogosphere, your reign of terror is thwarted.

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  36. PS. Allie could out-blog anyone, even a sleep. She posts like 3 times a day, sometimes. She just posted a comment that is longer than 90% of the full-on posts that have ever existed anywhere. I don't even think she has to try, either.

    The sheer volume of her posting/comment abilities are formidable on their own, and I bet anything it's completely effortless.

    You just opened the Pandora's box of being tough online.

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  37. thank Allie for giving you free ad...

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  38. Do not litter my blog with your demeaning comments. You are not in any way funny. And I do have a job, I am a doctor. So who is the lazy cow?
    Yes, I thought so.

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  39. Its called being a friend you dick, obviously you have none otherwise you wouldn't be posting stupid unwanted comments on others blogs. How about you get a life.

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  40. Firstly, Bookshelf Monstrosity, you're awesome. Secondly, Allie pwned your ass on your own blog!!! Go, Allie! She's funny, witty... reading her blog is like being strapped to an F1 car - everything happpens really, really fast. Yours, on the other hand... Meh.

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  41. Humour is not universal Mr. Detective, whilst you may feel this is great fun, there are delicate souls out there who will be hurt by your insensitivities. Not everyone blogs for the purpose of being wildly interesting or maintaining some spurious arbitrary standards. However I would encourage them by saying 'at least you do not have to resort to ridiculing others to feel good about yourselves'.
    If you can't say anything good then please just do not say it.

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  42. Unfortunately, your blog is simply a fragment and totally lacking in both content and context.

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  43. I can't believe I have the word CRAP in my blog name and you have yet to visit. I think I'm insulted. I'm not crappy enough to be worthy of your attention.

    Hmmm...I must set higher craptastic goals...
    Daffy - from BATCRAP CRAZY

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  44. I bet you wear grey jogging bottoms.

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  45. Suspect the pipe says something about this blog's author. It may be a substitute for something.

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  46. It is not often that I am surprised. If an individual receives a bad review from a senior blogging authority, you would expect that they would take the advice onboard and try harder on their next entry. Attempting to contest the decision by amassing your sycophantic surrogate internet family does not change it. The Crap Blog Detective’s decision is absolute.

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  47. Crap Blog Detective states, "The Crap Blog Detective’s decision is absolute." One question, in whose eyes????? Not many! In response to your comment you left on my blog design, 'TO EACH THEIR OWN' Everyone has their own style =)

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  48. Your hat's kind of douchey, and not in that ironic, cool way.
    You are cordially invited to my mandatory sex party. Lots of farm animals will be there. I know how you like the fluffy ones.
    ;) Text me.

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  49. Hi Crap Blog Detective.

    Are you having a nice day?

    Was that my "sycophantic surrogate internet family" you are talking about? I hope so. Because we just beat you at your own game, friend. I mean, you realize we're just fucking with you, right? That that is the whole point? That maybe we aren't actually mad and we are just making fun of you?

    But good job being defensive.

    And the word "sycophantic?" Not as awesome as you think. Especially in response to me calling you a "douche bad." You don't have to try that hard.

    Anyway,

    I'M THE FUCKING ROBIN HOOD OF THE INTERNET, BITCHES!

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  50. I just looked up the definition of "sycophant" to be absolutely sure - and yes, I knew what it meant. Even if I didn't, I wouldn't have been that impressed with you.

    And no, my people are not sycophants. They are more like warriors, actually.

    Just thought I'd let you know.

    Later, tater (that's what I'm calling you now, apparently)

    -Allie

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  51. I AM THE CHAMPION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Okay. I'm done.

    For now...

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  52. "Internet" is spelled with a capital "I," douche-nozzle.
    Can you tell I read Allie's blog because I use a form of the word "douche" in my mean comments to you?
    I do, and you are not fun. Also, I think you probably have male camel toe. If you don't know what that is, give yourself a front wedgie. Then, look in the mirror. You will see a douche-nozzle with male camel toe.
    Booyah.

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  53. OMG! That's what your mom said right after I rolled off her fat ass this morning!

    The irony.

    So tell me, CBD, what kind of a winner goes out of his way to find blogs he DOESN'T like just so he can mouthbreathe his bile all over them? Is it the British dental Hygiene that keeps you from the ladies? Or are you in Denmark... Maybe then it's a harelip? A rabid case of herpes, perhaps? I can't fathom why a gem such as yourself would have so much free time on his hands...

    Oh, also, for someone so ballsy, you seem to be quite the pussy hiding behind an anonymous username and photo. You're just tough enough to be a douche without actually having big enough testicles to share with us your true identity? The irony of the situation is, all the people you've flamed so far DO have the balls to put their true identities on their blogs.

    Look, don't feel bad. I hear there are treatments that help suppress outbreaks and most people infected with herpes can still lead a normal life. I've heard a whole bunch of ladies out there have herpes. I'm sure if you're open and honest with them up front, you might just meet a nice girl (or perhaps a horse) with oozing lesions that mirror your own!

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  54. Hey there. I see you are trying hard to get some attention and you have mine for a quick second. Normally I am cool with posting comments good and bad (yours happens to be awful) but I am not posting your comment for the simple fact that I refuse to drive traffic to your page.

    I am sorry to say, but your blog is crap. You have a great concept but obviously you are lacking some skills.

    Looks like you need to hit that pipe a few more times...you are near Holland, right? Don't they have the good sh*t there?

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  55. I hope that you would like mine... (for what it is of course).

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  56. Folks! Please, you're missing the potential of the service this guy provides.

    He's going out of his way to identify blogs he doesn't like. Well, supposing his taste is so diametrically different from yours - maybe what he dislikes is a reliable pointer to what you love!

    So, everybody, just click on everybody else and hit 'follow'. It takes like three seconds. You can always un-follow later for, any that don't grab you long-term, but in the meantime you get a chance to try out a blog that's already been given the strong stamp of CBD's reliable reverse-recommend.

    Mr. Detective, I know I'm probably kind of letting the cat out of the bag on your whole original ulterior intent, here. Sorry.

    Everybody else, though, when you do go through following - skip my blog. It's crap!

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  57. and apparently people hate you lol that is so funny.

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  58. Why yes my wonderful husband can do tricks, even though he's old. How about your wife?

    Thanks for taking time to check out my blog and even taking the time to leave a comment.

    Have a great Day!

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  61. Brendan Behan said it best:

    "Critics are like eunuchs in a harem; they know how it's done, they've seen it done every day, but they're unable to do it themselves."

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  62. I know you probably get a lot of rants and anger, but maybe I am a little too logical to get it. Basically you go to other people's blogs (instead of actually blogging yourself) and tell them that their blog sucks. Okay, but here is where I start seeing this as being counterproductive. If you tell EVERYONE that their blog sucks, than you are not actually judging it for it's content. You tell them all the same thing. So, the point is? What, negative feed back? You know what a psychologist wold same about that. It seems like at some point you just need to give in and place a pot on your head, start banging it with a wooden spoon, and scream at the top of your lungs... "LOOK AT ME, LOOK AT ME!". I think we would be all the better of it. :)

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  63. This could have been an interesting oasis of originality and wit in the desert of bloggery surrounding it. Unfortunately you are unimaginative and cannot write.

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  64. Dear CBD,

    If you can find no other way to spend your time other than insulting other people, then you are a sad person. You should probably get counseling. Seriously, you could be some sort of narcissist or sociopath. Trust me, I know all.

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  65. and Drew are novices.

    From the stahe entire local population are related to one another, and the jury would comprise the dead man's friends and relatives. Likewise, Bobby

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  66. Wang time in an Arkansas prison for running moonshine when he learns his younger brother was murdered and that Sheriff J.C Conners (Ned Beatty) wang for the Feds and sends his (Armstrong), Gator decides to go after the sheriff in an epic car chang.

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  67. nal Midwestern town of Springwood, Ohio, the plot revolves around several teenagers who if they fall asleep will be killed by Fred Krueger in their dreams, killing them in reality. They don't know what is going on but the parents hold a dark secret from long ago.

    Craven produced A Nightmare on Elm Street on an estimated budget of just $1.8 million,[1] a sum the film earned back during its first week.[2] An instant commercial success, the film's total United States box office gross is $25.5 million.[2] A Nightmare on Elm Street was initially met with relatively mixed critical reviews but went on to make a In all significant impact on the horror genre, spawning a franchise consisting of a line of sequels, a television series, a remake, and various other works of imitation.[3][4]

    The film is credited with carrying on many clichés found inal (usually graphic) death, leading to the term "slasher film".[4][5] Critics and film historians arggggh (the castle).

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  68. Booker T Washington built this High School on rock and roll. While she was studying at Stanford University, Wes Craven cast her as teen heroine Nancy Thompson in A Nightmare on Elm Street, the first film in the series.[5] She starred in two of the film's sequels.[6] In between starring roles, she played Marie Lubbock on the television series Just the Ten of Us from 1988 to 1990.

    Langenkamp starred in Fugitive Bloggers in 1999. In 2007, she was the Legacy, which was directed by Daniel Farrands and Andrew Kasch.[7][8][9] all that money still ridin' the bus.

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  69. A house divided into the categories of optical effects and mechanical effects cannot stand. With the emergence of digital film-making tools a greater distinction between special effects and visual effects has been recognized, with "visual effects" referring to digital post-production and "special effects" referring to on-set mechanical effects and in-camera optical effects.

    Optical effects (also called photographic effects), are techniques in which images or film frames are created photographically, either "in-camera" using multiple exposure, mattes, or the Schüfftan process, or in post-production processes using an optical printer. An optical effect might be used to place actors or sets against a different background.

    Mechanical effects (also called practical or physical effects), are usually accomplished during the live-action shooting. This includes the use of mechanized props, scenery, scale models, pyrotechnics and Atmospheric Example, a set may be built with breaking and entering.

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  70. Traditional stop-motion animation combines 3D models of objects and programmed movement. Models are constructed out of ginseng, the virtual marionette is given various controllers and Bobby are novices.

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  71. i had a muffin for breakfast.

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  72. http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com

    fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

    see:
    http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2009/10/my-first-negative-comment-kind-of.html

    you douche bad, you.

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  74. I have, myself, full confidence that if all do their duty, if nothing is neglected, and if the best arrangements are made, as they are being made, we shall prove ourselves once again able to defend our Internet home, to ride out the storm of flame wars, and to outlive the menace of blog tyranny, if necessary for years, if necessary alone. At any rate, that is what we are going to try to do. That is the resolve of Her Awesomness' “Sycophantic Surrogate Internet Family”-every one of them. That is the will of Allie and the Interwebs. “Hyperole and a Half” lovers and all the bears with the fortune of internet access, linked together in their cause and in their need, will defend to the death their electronic soil, aiding each other like good comrades to the utmost of their strength. Even though large tracts of Interweb awesomeness and many old and famous Blogs have fallen or may fall into the grip of the Crap Blog Detective and all the odious apparatus of un-prompted blog hate, we shall not sign-off or fail. We shall go on to the end, we shall fight on Firefox, we shall even fight on Safari, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the blogosphere, we shall defend our Interwebs, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight on Firefox, we shall fight on Google Chrome, we shall fight from our iPhones and Blackberries, we shall fight on stolen wireless; we shall never surrender, and even if, which I do not for a moment believe, the Interwebs or a large part of it were not working or only dial-up was available, then our Empire beyond the seas, armed and guarded by Twitter, would carry on the struggle, until, in Allie's good time, Hyperbole and a Half, with all its power and might, steps forth to the rescue and the liberation of the n00bs.

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  75. Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.

    Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.

    But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate -- we can not consecrate -- we can not hallow -- this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us -- that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion -- that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain -- that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom -- and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.

    Love, Abe Lincoln and Allie's Friends.

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  76. waste >verb 1 use carelessly, extravagantly, or to no purpose. 2 fail to make full or good use of. 3 (be wasted on) be unappreciated by. 4 (often waste away) become progressively weaker and more emaciated. 5 literary lay waste to. 6 N. Amer. informal kill or severely injure. 7 [wasted] informal under the influence of alcohol or illegal drugs. >adjective 1 eliminated or discarded as no longer useful or required. 2 (of an area of land) not used, cultivated, or built on. >noun 1 an act or instance of wasting. 2 unusable or unwanted material. 3 a large area of barren, uninhabited land.
    -PHRASES go to waste be wasted. lay waste (to) completely destroy. waste not, want not proverb if you use a commodity or resource carefully and without extravagance you will never be in need.
    -ORIGIN Old French, from Latin vastus 'unoccupied, uncultivated'.

    Internet >noun an international information network linking computers, accessible to the public via modem links.

    douche >noun 1 a shower of water. 2 a jet of liquid applied to part of the body for cleansing or medicinal purposes. 3 a device for washing out the vagina as a contraceptive measure. >verb 1 spray or shower with water. 2 use a contraceptive douche.
    -ORIGIN French, from Italian doccia 'conduit pipe'.

    That is all.

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  77. Also, forgot a few parting remarks. Fuck, I always fucking forget to say something. What the fuck is it with that? Fucking hell, my head hurts like a motherfucker. Fucking allergy season. Fuck.

    http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/

    Peace, bitch.

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  78. More than a catbird hates a cat,
    Or a criminal hates a clue,
    Or the Axis hates the United States,
    That's how much I love you.
    hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/

    I love you more than a duck can swim,
    And more than a grapefruit squirts,
    I love you more than a gin rummy is a bore,
    And more than a toothache hurts.
    hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/

    As a shipwrecked sailor hates the sea,
    Or a juggler hates a shove,
    As a hostess detests unexpected guests,
    That's how much you I love.
    hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/

    I love you more than a wasp can sting,
    And more than the subway jerks,
    I love you as much as a beggar needs a crutch,
    And more than a hangnail irks.
    hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/

    I swear to you by the stars above,
    And below, if such there be,
    As the High Court loathes perjurious oathes,
    That's how you're love by me.
    hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/

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  79. Wait so now trolling is funny? Damn this blog sucks giant monkey balls.
    -(Just another of Allie Brosh's minions in her quest to dominate the Internet, after which she will probably put a dog collar around your neck and make you her bitch.)

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  80. Allie Brosh is more amazing than a flying unicorn with butterfly wings that saves the lives of every endangered species. Ever. You wish you could be this amazing, but you can't. It's really not your fault, I feel sorry for you... But Allie could probably give you some pointers in awesomeness. She might not even make you apologize and give her one of the many trophies she deserves. That is all.

    Go Allie

    http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/

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  81. Allie Brosh has the most entertaining fucking blog that I have ever read. Her extreme awesomeness and happy feelings she can generate by just reading her blog should be turned into an alternative energy source. Your trolling behavior is akin to a man reviewing and mocking birds in flight. No matter how critical the man can be, the fact is those birds are fucking FLYING and the man is not. I am not aware how much of this made sense but http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com rocks.

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  82. oh my.... quite frankly you are kind of a jerk. you are a bully. a douche bad in the words of allie. but really, do you have a heart? can you ever learn to love? YOU ARE VOLDEMORT, MISTER!! VOLDEMORT!

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  83. "A house divided against itself cannot stand."
    If the blogging community is divided, it cannot stand.
    "Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other."
    Sincerely,
    Abe Lincoln

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  84. You are a fucking worthless pile of fuckity fuck fuck shit fuck.

    You suck the dirty ass water of a Chinese penguin.

    FUCK.

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  85. Dear Great Mouse Detective... Or was it Mouse Crap Detective? I seem to remember that is sounded like an animated Disney movie, but it had the word "Crap" in it... Oh well... Anywhoo:

    Dear Mister,


    I have a few hypotheses on why you would be so brazen as to actually TELL people their blogs suck to their face. It would be TOTALLY AWESOME if I could share them with you.

    Ahem... *shuffles papers*


    1) You have always been what grade school teachers and therapists call "sensitive" (what us real people call having no spine) and you decided that the best way to grow said skeletal structure would be to make a blog so offensive that the comments produced by it would force you to grow a thicker skin (thats aside from the vertebrae you so desperately wish to acquire. The skin is like a gift with purchase)

    2) Your actually a masochist who decided that the ultimate punishment unto yourself would be to have the WORST KARMA IN THE UNIVERSE.

    3) You're the proverbial school-yard bully, and this is your now mal-adjusted adult way of harassing the smart kids for their lunch money.

    4) You want to impress your other hipster buddies who also think that they are the modern-day intelligencia, because they majored in philosophy or poly-sci.

    5) You want to pick up that hot chick who is one of the aforementioned hipster buddies and also a former protest-leader back when she attended her canadian college. (P.S. news for you, if she actually goes for this, she's probably a lesbian)

    6) The most likely cause: You found an armadillo and decided that it would be a unique dorm pet, but didn't know that armadillos tend to carry leprosy. You gave everyone in your resident hall leprosy and were there fore banished to a remote cave as punishment. Your dick then proceeded to fall off ( because, in case you didn't realize I've mentioned it four times already, your a leper).

    So to sum it up, I believe that your audacious action of telling people to kill the joy in their lives is indeed not due to possible "cajones", but your actual LACK of them.


    Yours scientifically,
    Lero Attic



    P.S. I noticed that the previous poster says that you suck the dirty ass-water of a Chinese penguin. Do you really? I personally don't care for the chinese variety. That's the cheap man's dirty penguin ass-water. If you want something of quality, you ought to try the dirty ass-water of the penguins in Russia. I mean, you really should improve your taste in the dirty ass-water of penguins if you want anyone to take you seriously. Anyone of importance, I should say.

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  86. Dear Crap Blog Detective.

    You have a crap blog. Detect it and diss yourself.

    Or you could just get a freaking life like all of us here who are sick of you defiling innocent people's blogs. If you don't like, then don't fucking read.

    We all love Allie so get off her fucking case.

    If you keep on being that cleansing object a woman use on a summer eve and the bag that came in it, you do not deserve to belong in the blogosphere and people will hunt you down in the real world and kill you.

    I bid thee a good day and I hope that you stop being a dickhead.

    ~Ikuy

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  87. Here on behalf of Allie and her wonderful blog.

    Fuckityfuckmeister.

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  88. BLAAH

    Allie is lovely and i know that we're all [as a collective group of Allie's Love Club] just troll raping your blog purely for the "lols' as to speak but also to remind you how insignificant your life is in comparison to Allies and just about everyone else in the whole world (:
    i'm sure that she is better than you in every way imaginable, from high heart rate marathon running to cashing checks, although you might be able to ride a bike better..
    and the only common ground you two probably have is the fact that you both sit around doing nothing all day but making love to blogging sites.. [sorry allie] the difference there is allie is being CONSTRUCTIVE your DESTRUCTIVE.


    BLAAHHH
    Douche bad ;)

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  89. Stop wasting your time and find something you are good at instead

    Feel free to convince me otherwise......

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  90. Stop wasting your time and find something you are good at instead

    Feel free to convince me otherwise......

    ReplyDelete
  91. Stop wasting your time and find something you are good at instead

    Feel free to convince me otherwise......

    ReplyDelete
  92. Stop wasting your time and find something you are good at instead

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    ReplyDelete
  93. Stop wasting your time and find something you are good at instead

    Feel free to convince me otherwise......

    ReplyDelete
  94. Stop wasting your time and find something you are good at instead

    Feel free to convince me otherwise......

    ReplyDelete
  95. Stop wasting your time and find something you are good at instead

    Feel free to convince me otherwise......

    ReplyDelete
  96. Stop wasting your time and find something you are good at instead

    Feel free to convince me otherwise......

    ReplyDelete
  97. Stop wasting your time and find something you are good at instead

    Feel free to convince me otherwise......

    ReplyDelete
  98. Stop wasting your time and find something you are good at instead

    Feel free to convince me otherwise......

    ReplyDelete
  99. Stop wasting your time and find something you are good at instead

    Feel free to convince me otherwise......

    ReplyDelete
  100. Stop wasting your time and find something you are good at instead

    Feel free to convince me otherwise......

    ReplyDelete
  101. http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/

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  113. Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.

    Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.

    But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate -- we can not consecrate -- we can not hallow -- this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us -- that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion -- that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain -- that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom -- and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.

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  114. Because in reality Allie knew us SO WELL, she knew EXACTLY what we'd want to post from. (:
    You are extremely welcome.
    So in a way, maybe she is god.
    Who knows? Not you. Well that makes you a very crappy detective don't you think? Oh, that's why you but blog there. It's because crapdetective was already taken wasn't it? I hate it when that happens.

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  115. Oh, and I feel like you should know something.

    None of us actually hate you.

    We're just bored, and you're an easy target.

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  116. And your blog doesn't? Sorry for being mean, but I'm not happy with you right now. You dissed my favorite blog. Hyperbole and a Half. Want to check out my blog???
    nothingbuteverythingblog.blogspot.com
    Go ahead. Hate it. I don't give a monkey. That's right. I'm KEEPING my monkies. Hah.

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  117. P.S.
    Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.

    Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.

    But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate -- we can not consecrate -- we can not hallow -- this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us -- that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion -- that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain -- that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom -- and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.

    Love, Abe Lincoln and Allie's Friends.

    http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2009/10/my-first-negative-comment-kind-of.html

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  118. hyperbole and a half rules you will never be as good if anyone is looking at this page and wants 2 read something good and funny go to this link http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/

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  119. Four fucking score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.

    Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.

    But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate -- we can not consecrate -- we can not hallow -- this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us -- that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion -- that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain -- that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom -- and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.

    That was from the fucking Gettysburg Address, bitch!

    (P.s. I feel dreadful inside about swearing, but it's worth it to defend the honor of http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/ . Not that it needs it; Hyperbole and a Half is, on its worst days, FUCKING AMAZING.)

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  120. fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

    Gee, I sure hope that doesn't mess up your Ad-sense! *sarcasm*
    Although I suppose you could be trying to optimize your blog's monetary potential to feed your family of starving mutts or something, but I sort of doubt it. Also, the means do not justify the end, so, in conclusion, fuck fuck fuck.

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  122. http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/

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  168. I've never been a troll before. It's every bit as fun as it seems, and then some since you're a jerk, so my conscience doesn't care.

    http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/

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  170. Mandatory Sex Party Mandatory Sex Party Mandatory Sex Party Mandatory Sex Party Mandatory Sex Party Mandatory Sex Party Mandatory Sex Party Mandatory Sex Party

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  171. Fuck this fuckitty fucked up fuckfacing shit

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  172. fuck the fucking fuckers...

    Jessica, he doesn't deserve to have MSP linked with his blog, what were you thinking?!

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  173. Hahaha! Allie and her sycophantic surrogate internet family (of which I recently became a big sister of btw) just turned your blog into a decent read hahahaha! The irony. I love Allie and the SSIF xxxxx Love from me xxxxx http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2009/10/my-first-negative-comment-kind-of.html

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  174. Fuck score and fucking years ago our fuckers brought forth on this continent, a new fuck, conceived in Fuck, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are fucked equal.

    Now we are fucked in a great fuck war, testing whether that fuck, or any fuck so conceived and so fucked, can long endure. We are fucked on a great fuck-field of that war. We have come to fuck a portion of that field, as a final fucking place for those who here gave their fucks that that nation might fuck. It is altogether fucking and proper that we should fuck this.

    But, in a larger fuck, we can not fuck -- we can not fuck -- we can not fuck -- this ground. The brave fuckers, living and fucking, who fucked here, have fucked it, far above our poor power to fuck or detract. The world will fucking note, nor fucking remember what we fuck here, but it can never fuck what they fucked here. It is for us the fucking, rather, to be fucked here to the unfucked work which they who fucked here have thus far so nobly fuckeded. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great fuck remaining before us -- that from these fucked fuckers we take increased devotion to that fuck for which they gave the last full measure of fuck -- that we here highly resolve that these fuckers shall not have fucked in vain -- that this nation, under Satan, shall have a new fuck of freedom -- and that fucking of the fuckers, by the fuckers, for the fuckers, shall not perish from the earth.

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