Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Tips to improve your blog

- write something interesting
- do not use hideous backgrounds
- use a font people can actually read
- less is most definitely more

The Crap Blog Detective is here to help. If asked politely I am delighted to help you.

46 comments:

  1. Great tips - I already do all of that.

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  2. OH! One tip for you...

    get rid of that effn' word verification - annoying as hell and very amaturish

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  3. And who are you to criticise, what right have you got to set yourself up as a moderator/commentator/critic of blogs. An attention seeker, that's what? You hoped that by being controversial, to the point of Michael Winnerish rudeness (hang on a minute, are you really Michael Winner???), you would attract lots of attention to your blog, because YOU haven't got anything to say other than criticism. Well Done!! The Plan worked....

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  4. Thanks for your comment. Cute blog you have here. I love the Arthur Conan Doyle profile photo!

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  5. I am so sorry that you have such great sadness in you that you cannot allow others to enjoy themselves!!

    Sending you my fondest love and kindest wishes for a speedy return to happiness!!!

    xxxx

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  6. Ask your mother, I'm sure she'd be willing to divulge.

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  7. I have no idea why I'm even bothering to post a reply to a CRAP comment that you left earlier today, but the comment that you left on a post titled "My Favorite Song" was written by my 3rd grade daughter. I'd say that her interpretation is fairly sharp for an 8 year old. There are plenty of blogs that are truly "crap" out there. But an 8 year old trying to express herself? That most certainly is not crap.

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  8. Glad my blog is so crap you had to come back for a SECOND time. x

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  9. Excellent and profound advice. Often worried about my very brief posts that are full of old toot anyway, but you have cheered me up. xxx

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  10. Hey, Thanks for the comment!
    I'm not too sure if I'd take any advice of you anyway seeing as you know you've only posted 3 times. Oh and I love your plain old boring background as well.

    Best wishes!

    BB

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  11. you know...you remind me of that bloke " Wowbagger the infinity prolonged"...hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy.

    seriously, u are not at all half bad, Hey just in case you pop at my blog...there is no point in telling me I am crap....Coz i m as crappy as it can get...but I'd enjoy ur sarcasm

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  12. wow!! something i have been searching for..acres and acres of sarcasm!

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  13. I've tried polite and resonable.
    Now why don't you fuck off and suffer something really horrible you sad little shit.

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  14. Dear Themethatisme

    Thank you for comment, and thank you for your link to your "The Innisfree Social Club" blog.

    Interesting to read that "Members approved by majority a motion to bring forward the necessary rule changes to permit women into full membership of the club from next year."

    How forward thinking and progressive of your community to introduce gender equality. It appears Innisfree is only 40 years behind the rest of the Western World.

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  15. ...you missed the point (pointless, pointless, pointless)...the point is globalove think tank.

    www.globalovethinktank.blogspot.com

    ...come and visit and leave your comment.

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  16. Utterly freakin pitiful. THis is the shittiest (oh, I mean crappiest) blog idea I have ever heard. Get a life, moron!

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  17. LOL!

    thnx atleast you read my post

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  18. I just want to IMPROVE my blog.

    Thank you for helping us.

    -José Luis

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  19. Dude. I think I'm in like with you! HA! I have to ask if there's ever been a blog you actually like (or a list of them) cuz I would be interested in having a gander. BTW, you've pissed people off so badly that they borderline hate you, but I know by your comment on my crappy little blog that you're a total softie! (around here that means you have a good heart). So cheers, and rock on!

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  20. Oh man I didn't realise. This is just a troll in blog form. Well, good for you, it seems to be working.

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  21. I have some extra tips for your blog (for free!!):
    -If you don't like blogging: don't blog and don't look.
    -Get your own life, instead of trying to get one over someones back.
    -If you are not social, get a life whithout people and don't go on the internet. Becouse there are creapy people everywhere!!!

    And at last my favorite:
    -If you don't have something nice to say, shut your mouth.

    My next card is going to be for you.
    Next days I'm busy. I hope you'll be patience and come over and see in a few days.

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  22. CBD has pissed a lot of people for sure, but how can you not love this? He's generated more traffic than the vast majority of new blogs, and his posts are hilarious (and often insightful). How can you not love this post in regards to a blog entry about Scrabble: Y-O-U-R (4) B-L-O-G (4) I-S (2) C-R-A-P(4)?!

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  23. hey crap blog detective! thanks for the comment but be careful who you diss. people will tear you apart especially with a face like that a blogs as lame as this one.

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  24. how come you get more comments for calling other people's blogs crap then i get just writing a "normal" post...?

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  25. omg, you are such an ass, but I am flattered that somehow you found my blog. Keep reading it; you might learn something...or not.

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  26. Upon thinking, I just got it--you are from England, and you LIKE Horehound drops and Licorice All Sorts!

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  27. What makes you the Blog Guru.....You have no idea who writes these blogs you are oblivious to other peoples feelings or needs....the things you say to people you don't even know are beyond reproach and reprehensible.....some of these blogs are written by well meaning people including children....I for one don't care I'm way to old to worry about your crassness so as Mr Sherlock Holmes would say stick it in your pipe and smoke it..........

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  28. How is it possible for a man to play dressup and in this case dressing as Sherlock Holmes, to actually think of himself as a Blog Detective. To be a detective you do need some smarts and so far I haven't noticed any. No one asked for your criticism yet you seem to feel it's your place to do so. Unless you've got degrees in literature, photography etc. you are not qualified to pass such judgements. Belittling people and their work demeans you not them. My mother always said, if you can't say anything nice, say nothing at all. Do us a favour and let Watson do the talking from now on.

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  29. There are a million and one reasons to start a blog. People keep writing because they get something out of it. For me, I find that writing a blog helps me to consider myself and my life in order to make both better. And by better I mean making me more contented.

    I find having a blog has helped expand my life. I do a lot more things than I ever used to. By setting goals and doing exercises on my blog I am more likely to persevere. Just the act of putting things out there gives them a value and acts to indicate my sincerity and commitment.

    It doesn't matter what other people think of my blog. They are welcome to visit, or not. They are welcome to stay and become friends if they find we have things in common. My blog is all about me and for me.

    I do have to wonder what it is that your blog gives you, because i think you are coming from a very different place to me and your motivations are markedly different.

    Thank you for your kind wishes about getting better. Yes, antibiotics are in this instance are, far, far better than holistic medicine or crystals in all likelihood. This is why I wish to go and get more, because the ones I have are not working.

    Have a nice and happy day CBD, may you manage to spread light and love everywhere you go.

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  30. Sir, I am SO honoured that you visited my blog again, I do declare I think you are developing a soft spot for this l'il ole pinkfairygran. And honey, don't you worry your purty little head about skipping to the end, 'cos I always leave the best till last....

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  31. And have you visited www.blackpitts.co.uk yet and looked at the blog there?

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  32. Are there ANY blogs that you actually approve of? Seriously. By your picture you look old, so you'd think you would act a bit more mature. Obviously not!

    Have a blessed day.

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  33. Your an arsehole.excuse me, but do you even know what it is like to have an eating disorder?how dare you critisise me for doing something that might help me overcome a recognised mental disorder. You have absolutely no idea what has gone in in my life, so dont be such a fucking dickhead. the thing is, im writing this hideously pissedat you...but i guess thats what you want you piece of scum

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  34. Agreed on all except the last. I enjoy writing and reading long posts (as long as they're punctuated correctly and grammatically correct).

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  35. you should take some of your own advice :)

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  37. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  38. My for someone who hates crafts, it was interesting tonight to see you having a browse around the site. and to actually jion and post a comment in an open forum.... to use your words old chap

    Hmmm

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  39. CBD, I'll pay you a million pounds to keep prodding Mary at Civillas Cyber Café.

    Thankyouplease x

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  40. I agree with you on this. And it is something we are working on addressing for our blog. We were doing it prior to your comment, but the directness of your comment is a reminder to move that up the priority list a bit.

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  41. You are kind of an arsehole but you are also funny.
    BODA weight loss

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  42. A tip for the Crap Blog Detective: try to understand what an entry is saying before you comment on it. For example, someone might mention Jesus in passing in order to make a point about an entirely different subject.

    Example: http://onthegoatfarm.blogspot.com/2009/08/did-you-read-bill.html

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  43. You are the definition of scum. I don't say this to be hateful. Only as a response. The people you've vilified, for no reason other than your own sense of self worthlessness - Deserve something better. Anyone reading these comments, most likely came here from another blog, as I did. A blog that people actually cared to read, (http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com) I've just discovered it and was affected by it. Fuck, how many things can you say that about in your life? That will last longer than a song? Good luck. You only exist on the internet because of others. You've created nothing of your own. Not even ire. The only reason people interact with you is because you've said things about people they care about.

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